Brandon & MaKenna

2012-02-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

Life is full of challenges when it comes to being a mom..100% worth it, but not always easy!
You deal with the everyday messes and the confusion and frustration that comes along not always knowing the answer to absolutely everything. It's a hard thing..and a humbling one when you come to a point where you just don't know.

I have finally been able to admit that it has not been easy with a new baby in the house. But it's not for the.reasons most would think. I'm fine waking up several times in the middle of the night even though it does leave me exhausted the next morning! Certain moments make it worth it and because I have already seen how fast a year caN fly I know someday I'll miss these late nights. I'm fine having to give up even more free time...because I really don't enjoy time to myself anyway..my kids definitely provide the highlights of my everyday. I guess the hard part is not knowing what is wrong when you know something is wrong, if that makes sense.

Little Beckham has a hard time finding happiness, and I honestly don't know why. He cries most of the time he is awake and it is hard..i am not good at the "Just let them cry" thing and for awhile I started thinking that was exactly the problem..I figured he was spoiled! I admit both boys get sooo much attention but I really don't think that's a bad thing at all. I love my boys both so much and I hate to ever leave them, even if it's just for a short while. But anyway...that's not the issue, I just hope we get something figured out soon. It has been a sad few weeks of continuous crying, I am so happy when I am able to get him calmed down without having to feed him, give him a bottle, or use a pacifier! I can't wait for that to be the norm!

We had a sick house this past weekend with me and Brandon both sick and then Tate catching a bit of it the day after! I am thankful to say it didn't last long...Though I do love that I had my lil cuddle bug back for a few days!! I definitely realized that mom's don't get sick days no matter how they fedl and it makes me appreciate my mom just that much more. I don't think you realize what all being a mom means...the demands and why they do all the things they do or did until you have your own kids! I feel closer to my mom,now than ever and I am so grateful for all that she helps me with.! I am also thankful for the sick days she never took that she spent doing more than she had to for us! She is the best!

I also should say how thankful I am for the help I do get from Brandon. When he is able to help.with the boys it makes a huge difference and I am so grateful for the two boys we are blessed with & able to raise together.. I hope wd czn get things right and I also hope that my kids love us as much as I love my parents...I want to see them EVERYDAY for all of eternity.

Life.

2012-02-09T19:14:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy, with two boys, I am constantly on my toes.
I love life this way. I have had a lot of fun taking Tate to the park, going on walks and just enjoying time with the boys since we are home so much.

Tate is sick right now, It is so sad seeing him be the worn out..miserable little boy. I am used to him running circles around me and always being on the go so this is weird for me! Now that I have a baby in my arms a huge majority of the time I am having to learn to "share" too...or just split time, whatever you want to call it. I love the moments that Tate gives his brother kisses or just wants to cuddle him even if it's just for a second.I also love that I get a lil more lovin'...even if it is JUST BECAUSE he is sick.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about school and I am really looking forward to getting back to it, I haven't taken a class since the summer and I {almost} miss it! I know once I go back I might change my mind but I have always enjoyed it! I just need to find some fun classes to take since I am done with most of my prerequisites! I think I will start of taking online classes and possibly get back to the campus this summer. I'm not in a rush to leave my boys--That is the HARDEST thing ever for me!(I seriously started crying before we got to the stop sign on my parents street when we left for the hospital! I couldn't even tell Tate bye because I was holding back tears the entire time...I hope it's not like that when school starts up, but I can almost guarantee it will be! Guess I'll have puffy eyes for my classes!)

Brandon Jr ;)

2012-01-26T22:16:00.000-08:00

So..I guess just because your genes are extremely dominant one time around doesn't mean they will be twice! I have said multiple times that I will never have another child that looks like me, Tate was such a surprise! Right before Beckham was born Brandon of course asked me one last time what I thought he would look like. We both agreed that he would have dark hair and I'm not sure what we said about his eyes..we won't know that for awhile anyway but I am thinking that they will be brown! This is our Merkley baby for sure!! We have been EXTREMELY blessed with 2 absolutely perfect boys, I think it is kinda fun to have them be so different!

My entire pregnancy with Beckham was so easy, but I can't say I wasn't anxious to have it over. I had Tate exactly a week before his due date and Beckham decided to wait a little longer so I am grateful that I wasn't so miserable with him..On Thursday I was scheduled to be induced on my due date : January 22nd, but fortunately I didn't have to wait till then, I started having contractions late Thursday night and continued to wake up with them throughout the night so we made our way to the hospital soon after Brandon got off work Friday morning.

His delivery was so much different, so much easier and less complicated than Tate's.. My Doctor came in my room at 4:00 and got changed and had everything prepped..Beckham was born at 4:08, I think I was more shocked than anyone..I didn't think it could be that easy!! I do give full credit to him, he didn't deliver Tate, and the situation with Tate was just not good, I am grateful for doctors that know what theyre doing and for the difference it makes. I also really hope he will stay in practice for another 10 years since we are planning to wait so long for baby #3. I was bummed to find out that my nurse, Debra, is graduating from her NP program in March, I would definitely ask for her next time around! I just had an overall good experience. I was so grateful to have such great nurses throughout my stay and a doctor that I trust so much. My recovery went so well and I was so happy to have a healthy and happy baby once again!

Beckham Kai Merkley arrived January 20th, 2012 at 4:08 pm. He weighed 7lb 10 oz and measured 21 inches long. He has dark hair and dark eyes. We both think they could end up blue but we aren't counting on it! Either way he is adorable. He did have jaundice so we stayed an extra day which was hard on me being away froM Tate but
we did what we had to do!

I was so worried for the changes that Beckham would bring and for what it would mean for our family and Tate..i was worried He would feel left out and just be sad and he was a little at first but he has done better each day and just loves his baby brother. He always wants to give hugs and hold him when hes laying down watching cartoons even if he occasionally squeezes a little too tight! I am so proud of him though..i know its hard to have your world rocked like that and appreciate so much that he has made it so easy for me..! He is such a sweet boy and I am so glad I was vlessed with two super easy, happy and content babies.:)

Tate is already trying to teach his lil bro things so he will be a smarty pants too. He will point to baby's toes and fingers and different things and ask "What is it?" I hope he continues to do that until Beckham can answer back. Tate surprises me everyday with the things he knows..you can ask him almost any body part and he can point them out, he asks for food and bottles, and helps us wash his hair..he is also very good at going potty on the big potty and gets his own diapers for me to change.

I love life as a mom

2011-12-13T12:10:00.000-08:00

I am so beyond blessed for everything in my life.
This month has really helped me to realize all that I have and how much is taken for granted.
Brandon graduates from the academy Friday and officially becomes an officer for Gila River Police Dept., we are happy to have a "guaranteed" income so that we can budget our money a little better and not have the constant worry! Luckily we have been able to have everything that we need and then some evem when Brandon was working solely for comission. It will be nice to have more than 2 days a week to squeeze in family time!

Tate has grown up so much...i came across pictures.of his first birthday party and other things that have happened fairly recently and Im amazed at how much older he not only looks but seems!
He goes potty on the toilet everytime you ask if he needs to, he learned to blow his lil nose, he carries around a baby doll like the best of brothers out there, says bless you when he sneezes, flirts with EVERY girl in EVERY store no matter how old they are, he asks for most things that he needs, and knows so many different words! He cAn repeat aLmost anything you say...depending on his mood!!! He hasnt quite put any sentences together yet but he is ready to start talking our ears off with his new jibber jabber thing he's gotten into..he talks to anything and everything, I just have no idea what the conversations are about!!;) He is so polite he says thank you and please often! He even.says thank you when.im frustrated and give him a lil smack on the hand..its hard to be mad after that...

Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

I am so grateful for so many things and feel as though I don't take enough time to think about and appreciate all that it is. This past year and a half has made me a mom, and taught me so,much about life and about myself..without a question I am most thankful for my family, most importantly my baby boy and his brother on the way. Before I had Tate I never really knew the meaning or feeling of unconditional love but I know now that there is nothing in the world that could make me love that kid any less! Even though sometimes being a mommy means life gets more challenging with each new day, I truly am grateful for every second I have with him..

Of course I am grateful for my savior, Jesus Christ, for helping me to have my family and making it possible to keep them by my side even into eternity..That is the greatest gift that could ever be given.
I often just think of things that I have been blessed with and I really am amazed I feel like I am so lucky to have all that I do..Church has been such a blessing in my life and has given me direction in all aspects of my life and been such a guide and inspiration in decisions, even small everyday ones.

I am thankful for this time of year and what it brings..it is a time of year to enjoy family and reflect on the past year of memories, as I have gotten older I have honestly realized that the best part of the entire
Holiday season is the.memories and time spent with family..although I do get extra excited to see Tate's reaction to lights hanging, decorated trees, Santa and gifts.I do hope to bring a lot of tradition into our home to help us to grow closer and to stay a close family!

I am grateful for a year of so much joy and not much to be sad about, this has been a good year so far with so many great things..many people can't say that!

I am thankful for friends and for the fact that you can go to them to talk to regardless of how far away they are.

I am grateful for this baby on the way, I must admit it wasnt the easiest idea to get used to but I already feel such a love for him and cant wait to meet my baby boy. I look forward to watching my boys be best friends and grow up together..

The list goes in and on...i hope to continue adding everyday:)

Baby Brother

2011-11-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

{Who is still unnamed}
is due to arrive just 2 months from Tuesday..
Or about 9 weeks from now:)

I am hoping to have another ultrasound soon since we actually have insurance this time around because I'm curious to see how he is measuring and progressing!
As far as my measurements I am pretty much right where I'm supposed to be just measuring about a 1/2 a week small or so! I am getting anxious/excited but I am also pretty nervous, I love love love being a mom but I'm a little hesitant about the idea of raising 2 boys..I know it comes somewhat naturally but there are so many things I want and hope to give them and things that they need that I just hope I can do it all!! I also hope that Tate responds well to his little brother, there relationship matters more than anything to me! I really hope they are best friends.

{Beckham Kai/ Beckham Cruz or Gradyn Kai} What do you thinkk?!?!
I'll tell you one thing..He is one active little boy, he really likes to kick! Maybe it's only fitting that he somewhat be named after a soccer player? :)

Smartie Pants.

2011-11-17T21:22:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have to say we have one funny kid on our hands.
Tate got a book for his birthday from his cousins Delilah & Jaylee called "Mickey's Roadtrip" and in the book Mickey and all of his friends go through all of these different places to get to the beach for a picnic..(none of that really matters) But anyway one of the places happens to be a farm. Tate's new thing is to make animal noises, he learned to bark back at dogs about a month ago but now you can ask him a few different animals and he totally knows what they say!

"Tate, what does a cow say?" ---"MOOOOOOOOOO"
"Tate, what does a pig say?" ---"Sniff, SNiff, Sniff"
"Tate, what does a dog say?" --- " Woooo, Wooo, Wooo"

He is so dang smart...and I think we might possibly have an early potty trainer?
I would love if he was potty trained before baby brother gets here but at the same time,I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I know the holiday season would be a bad time to even try but I am working on just teaching him what the potty is for right now. I am definitely not in a rush. But when your 15 month old starts saying potty and then going into the bathroom, maybe he is ready?!!!

I put him on the potty one day just to see if he knew what to do, and just said "okay, go potty" and he really went!!!! I totally wasn't expecting it..but now he holds his potty until I take his diaper off and has started pottying while I change him, like he did when he was a newborn...except ON PURPOSE!!!!
I have put him on the toilet once or so everyday since and he goes everytime. So idk, he might just get a potty for Christmas..I guess we will see!

Pretty soon this kid is going to be teaching me things I don't even know. I definitely think he could teach us all some manners!lol...He says thank you after everything!!

I know I need to go back and add photos to about 2 months of posts but it just takes so long..I am planning to get videos of Tate saying all of these funny things he says but I just haven't gotten around to it yet!!! If I don't do it soon..someone please get on me about that!! I need a reminder every now and then:)

Our lil housewife

2011-11-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

Tate is such a goof...we went out to run errands on Saturday and we got home that evening...the house was pretty clean but apparently Tate thought otherwise! He got into the broom closet and pulled out the mop and the bucket for water of course! He walked all around the house "mopping" the hallway and kitchen and even repeatedly dipped the mop in his imaginary water! I was laughing pretty hard.He always loves to clean up and helps me vacuum, sweep and mop each time I do, I'm not sure where he gets that from! He even puts his own toys away and cleans up messes if he spills or anything(with help of course..haha)..while he sings "clean up, clean up....". After he finished cleaning he pulled out every bowl and spoon in reach and decided to "bake" something..Im glad to know he has seen me do these things enough. It was just so funny to see that he already takes initiative to do that! I love watching him learn and I think he learns new things everyday! I don't know how he lesrns words so quickly but his brain must work much faster than mine! If he is in the right mood you can say the most random words and he will repeat them right back, I try to work withh him a lot on them.

He has learned to say Jesus, Meme, flower, kitty cat, Cow, Moo, pretty, brother, baby and a ton more things...a lot of which I've mentioned in previous posts! He teaches me everyday in so many different ways! You definitely lesrn to appreciate the little things when you have kids and I'm loving every minute of it.

I am so grateful for this time of year and looking forward to lots of time with family and friends.
My best friend will be here from cali in 4 days!
Thanksgiving is in 10 days..Brandon graduates in 1 month and 9 days after that is Christmas! Then exactly 4 weeks later (January 22 ) baby brother is due! Not to mention all the fun things in between!So much to be grateful for and to look forward to!

and Tate finally had his 1 yr check up! He is perfectly proportioned at the 90th percentile in height weight and his head! Yes he grew into it:) I am glad that the doctors agree that he is perfect:)
24lb 1 oz. ..32+ inches, 19 in head

2011-11-13T11:38:00.000-08:00

I was doing really good and now I'm behind...again! It seems like There is always something to say.
Halloween was pretty successful, we were able to get out a few different days and do things as a family! We went to our ward trunk or treat where Tate had me running around like crazy as he held his bucket up to each person...whether they had candy or not:) Then we went to his Grandma and Grandpa Merkley's ward fall festival where they had games and got to get some candy! Halloween night we were able to go just one block, after one street Tate started restingg his head on my hand and I knew he was done for! Even as tired as he was he still managed to learn to say thank you when he got his candy! He is seriously so dang smart..idk what I would do without him! Hopefully he teaches lily brother well because I am not a good teacher! lol

Trunk or Treat :)

2011-10-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight Tate and I went to the trunk or treat for our ward..he was all dressed up in his cute pirate costume and got lots of compliments..Despite being asleep when we pulled up to the church he was more than ready to run around and have some fun.! He went around to all the different trucks holding his bucket up for them to throw in the candy, each time he got something he was interested in he would set his bucket down and reach inside! If i wasn't holding one hand he would've plopped down and had the whole bucket gone before we could even got to all the cars! He never did eat any of it, that will probably happen tomorrow! I have a feeling he will just want the suckers! He loves lollipops and anytime he comes to Mene's he makes sure to check the candy drawer! Tate decided his night of trunk or treating was over when and of the ladies from our ward handed him a glowstick, Forget the candy...he was satisfied:)

Boys will be boys

2011-10-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

I am excited as i look forward to the challenges that Will be brought by the changes coming my way. As Tate has gotten older I have realized how much harder being a parent can be..yet how extremely rewarding it is! I think being a mom has taught me to enjoy the little things in life!

I can't say that I don't have my worries...tonight I was very discouraged...it had been a ridiculously long day and Tate seemed to be testing my patience over and over. Usually my patience is good with him but he was continuously doing things that could end in him being seriously hurt so with that stressing me out I couldn't help but wonder what I'll do in days where Tate is like that along with.his Partner in crime lily brother.

Sure enough he did get hurt, luckily it ended up a lot better than it couldve been...he climbed onto the top of the piano today..the toilet...the desk in the office, the bar stools, on top of his lil tv, and from the couch onto the end tables. Seriously...that is no exaggeration, ALL IN ONE DAY. Yet he didn't get hurt doing those things it was the last place he climbed after he had gotten a little more daring! I saw him in the living room after he had climbed onto an ottoman that was near the coffee table, i wasn't surprised at all...I watched him start to bounce as I walked towards him and then all of the sudden he fell backwards hitting head first into the coffee table. I knew for sure from the sound it made that there would be blood and we would be in the ER just days before our insurance kicks in. Surprisingly his head was cut but not deep and it swelled but not enough to split his head. I still felt no relief...just more of a hopeless what the neck am I going to do kind of feeling! I have a lot of very paranoid years ahead of me..I guess that's life as a boy's mom! I love you Tate, my crazy lil boy..!

2011-10-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we were able to take Tate to Schnepf farms for some fun! We had to take advantage because there's not a whole lot to do here! We went in the evening in hopes that we could stay for the fireworks, He loves everything like that! Unfortunately we left before they started but we were able to do a few things before we did. First we went to the pumpkin patch..He loved walking through saying "pumpkin,pumpkin, pumpkin" while trying to find the perfect one and getting soon dirty!! After finding one we liked Brandon mentioned how much of a pain it would be to carry one around...oh yea, good point! So we left hoping it would be there when we went to leave, it wasn't but oh well! After the pumpkin patch we went to the big tunnel slides, we sent Tate down on his own since that's what the other kids were doing. Within seconds you could hear screaming from inside, I looked up through the end of the slide and just saw Tate lying on his stomach with his hands pressed down firmly, he wasn't going anywhere! Brando was still at the top so he slid down to meet him and go the rest of the way together...poor kid thought that was torture! We wanted to go to the pig races so we decided we would for around eight...but of course we had found our way to the train depot and stood in line for probably 45 mins..I said it was like worse than Disneyland rides! The train was worth it though, because it was after dark it had become the spooky train taking us through an orchard that was "haunted", just like the haunted houses they have people running up to the train and getting in your face trying to scare you! Tate was just watching them like "what are these crazy people doing?!, but he never did get scared! It was worth the wait and im glad it didn't scare him, I was just crossing my fingers the entire time!
Next time I will definitely plan on us doing more but we did have a great time and i think Tate enjoyed it..It was something different for him. I can't believe how fast time is flying and that Halloween is in just one week! I am excited that Tate will understand a little better this year and I can't wait to dress him up and take him to a few fun things in our community..I think he will enjoy trick-or-treating..He is Mr.Personality and he can't help but try and talk to people EVERYWHERE we go..it's pretty cute!

Everything is going great as far as my pregnancy..I will be just Over 28 weeks at my next appt on the 1st of November which means I'll get to drink the yummy glucola for my diabetes testing! can't believe we are down to only 3 more months..I am excited and nervous for the changes we will experience but it is so much fun being a mom! I can't even imagine it being any better! I woke up with some heartburn last night which means i probably need to be more conscious of what I eat but I really have no complaints, i have been very lucky! This baby has been very active and lately i am being kicked in my ribs often..! The nurses said that usually that means they are more calm once they're born..I kinda hope so :) Tate is one busy kid...but i guess that is what makes it fun even if its not always easy.
He now knows has learned to say baby, Meme, spongebob,Spencer, two, three, popcorn, pumpkins, airplane..and he makes noises when he plays with cars......"VRooooom!". I love my boys!!:)

Fall..& Things to come...

2011-10-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

I LOVE this time of year..& preparing for the holidays, seeing family and enjoying the weather!

This past weekend i was able to take Tate to the zoo for the first time, it was so fun and just a little bit exhausting for me. I don't think he made a sound the entire few hours we were there..he just loved seeing the animals! He has always been fascinated by birds and other animals but I would have to say that he loved the giraffes most, probably because we went to the giraffe encounter and he was able to feed one of them some lettuce! of course his favorite part of the whole zoo experience was the splash pad though..he was so mad when I made him get back in the stroller..!I definitely don't blame him the water looked very tempting...This October weather has not been treating us nicely..it was over 100 degrees..and we are now halfway through the month! I am looking forward to nice weather so we can enjoy more days at the zoo and just outside in general!

The next day (Saturday), our family went to lunch and then we took Tate to the splash pad at San Tan..He absolutely loved it. He chased all the kids around and sat there playing until the water would start to go back down, he would follow it until it completely quit splashing..trying to catch the last few drops!I was bummed to find out that it will be closed until next summer..I feel bad that i found something fun for him to do so late!

I am hoping that when Brandon is home this weekend we can take Tate to sChnepf farms for a day..he would love the petting zoo, the train and i want to pick out pumpkins to carve! He is so smart and at such a fun age because he is literally learning and teaching me everyday! Plus, i am wanting to soak up all this time we have before baby brother comes because i know Tate will lose a lot of the attention he is so used to. I hope I am overly aware of his needs even with the new addition because I know how hard it might be on him..I am really hoping it is a good thing from the beginning and that he realizes that baby will be his best friend for the rest of his life.

Im excited to see Tate with his lil bro and to add one more child for me to learn from and grow with. It is hard to believe that our lives will change again in just a little over 13 weeks. i am looking forward to it but of course i'm nervous, mostly for Tate. I know in the end everything will be perfect and I'm so grateful this pregnancy has gone so fast and been so pleasant! This lily guy is definitely more of a kicker than Tate was..I remember worrying all the time because most days Tate barely moved..Thankfully i never have much time to worry with this one. The second i do begin to worry i always feel a little squirm, I love feeling babies move it is such a comfort knowing they are okay and so fun to watch. There's is so much to look forward to. I love my boys.

2011-10-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

There are days when I feel like life is too busy and then days that I feel like I'm never busy enough. I have felt so much more tired with this pregnancy yet I was so sick with Tate and working and going to school full-time. I think it's just more tiring when you are a mom...I feel so bad that I don't have the energy to do fun things with him everyday and I always think about how much I'll regret that someday..I keep making it a goal in my head but I haven't really been good about it. I am so grateful to know that kids will love you no matter how fun you are, or any of those things. Their love truly is unconditional!

I always say this but Tate has quite the little personality. He has grown so much in the short year that it has been. He has learned so many words I can't even begin to list them all and he is so dang smart.
Tate has been able to take a few short trips with me up North to do some pictures for my Cousin's Company and their many events they are involved in. Brandon was able to come along this time and we were so happy to get to walk 4 miles before our drive home!:) It's okay, we needed it. & Tate enjoyed himself while we were there.

He has learned to climb, and open doors and also to clean up his messes (sometimes:)). Though all of the good things have also come with some mood swings I have had so much fun watching him be his animated self! If he isn't blinking (he closes both eyes instead of one) at everyone in the stores he is blowing them kisses with a loud MUAHHHHH! Everyone loves him whether they know him or not and I just hope it is like that his entire life. THere is nothing better than the people who you can't be around without smiling and that is TATE for you.

I am looking forward to the cooler weather and the fun things that Fall brings. I hope to get Tate outside more and take him to a few of the fall events they have around town. We got a little bit of a tease with the cool weather we had for a few days and then I walked outside in jeans and a light sweater today to go right back in and change. The nice weather didnt stick around long, I hope it's back soon.

We are down to just over 14 weeks before Baby Brother is here! We still don't have a name for sure but I like Gradyn Kai, Brandon likes Teagan Cruz..Both are completely different from eachother..It has definitely been harder this time with Tate's name being chosen right on the spot when we found out he was a boy,but I am getting so excited about the idea of having two boys so close. I am looking forward to matching outfits and being kept overly busy by Baseball games. I always did want to have baseball players and I know I will always be their biggest fan!

Brandon is in the police academy until December 16th so I know that the rest of the year is going to fly by with everything we have going on these next few months..That is a good thing though. He has completely enjoyed the Academy and I'm sometimes irritated by the fact that he seems excited to leave us when he goes back each Sunday..I know I just need to be supportive and be glad that he is having fun. My Lil Cop :)& CAn you even believe this picture was taken a year ago?? He has grown so much in so many ways!

MY best friend Ashley will be here for a week next month and I am looking forward to having some things to do to keep me busy. I really miss having my best friend live here. Every now and then I'm upset by the fact that I can't just call her up to go to lunch or even just to talk face to face but we always try to make the best of when she does get to visit.

My sister, the person I have been closest to my whole life, Justyne, is getting married in February. They have the date set and have already made the arrangements for the temple..I have loved seeing her be excited about everything. I can't even begin to say how happy I am for both of them they are seriously two of the best people that I know and I am grateful my sister was able to find someone who deserves her. They seem so in love and I have really enjoyed seeing that and hearing her talk about how she can't wait to be married. They are starting out how they should and I can't wait to see what the future brings for them! I am so excited that my boys will be as close in age as my sister and I are. We are complete opposites in so many ways but we have always been there for eachother and have had a relationship that I hope my kids will have. Thinking about us both being married makes me realize just how fast time flew by! I am grateful for her for allowing me to share in the spotlight a lot of times..For letting me graduate with her and share in her prom nights, and for all those birthdays where we got gifts even though it wasn't our day..just because we were basically twins! Can't wait for the married/ family memories with you! You are the most beautiful person I know, and you deserve nothing more than to be so extremely happy forever!

I am glad that I have already been there and done that because I remember how stressful it was getting everything planned...Luckily I was too busy to have a whole lot of involvement and everyone else pretty much planned for me, mostly my mom, I think it turned out better with her making the plans. I can't believe that was 2 years ago

(We just celebrated two years with a delicious dinner and dessert atCheesecake Factory and Brandon was so sweet to take me out to buy a new outfit, he definitely knows me well and made me feel special. It was the best weekend we have had in a long time)..and I can't believe how much has changed since we were married. I never would have guessed that I would be ready to have a 2nd baby but I am so glad that Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew that I needed TAte and apparently this baby too and I have truly never felt so blessed as I do being a mom. There is nothing BETTER!

The Best Year Yet...

2011-09-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

I started this post right after Tate turned one and of course it has taken me over a month to actually get to it!

I have officially had my best year yet, complete with a baby boy who I adore and who teaches me and makes me laugh {A LOT} everyday. Here's a few recent pictures:)

He got his haircut on his bday, before that it was a little out of control!

.TATE LORIN MERKLEY.

I watched you grab my finger the minute you were born as if you already trusted me, only something a newborn would do..

I watched you smile your first little smile and hold your head up like such a big boy!

I watched you get multiple heel pricks for jaundice, broke my heart everytime..and then you had to be put in a Bili Blanket! {I hated that thing} But it helped your levels improve.

I watched you go from being a pretty big baby to being a tiny lil guy who wore newborn clothes till you were 3 months old.

I watched you learn to sit up, and lovee anything elmo.

I watched you fall asleep in my arms almost every single night, you NEVER wanted to be put down..I miss that so much now.

I watched you learn to say mommy, daddy, hello, nana, bobba, bompa...etc. & pretend to talk on the phone

I watched you learn to crawl, and crawl up the stairs at just over 5 months.

I watched you learn to pull yourself up to the side of your pack n play at 6 months and 3 days.

I watched you take your first vacation to California, and go to Sea World, Disneyland and the Beach. You loved playing in the sand!

I watched you take your first steps at 9 months, but not learn to walk until a little after 10 months.

I watched you grow out of your first car seat and your size 5 shoes :(

I watched you be such a perfect and happy baby, everyone absolutely adores you but no one loves and adores you more than I do. I have just had the most amazing time watching you grow and watching you learn and become so smart already. You could not be more perfect. I remember finding out that I was having a boy, I was surprised by how excited I was..I really couldn't imagine being more excited for anything in my life. From the moment that I heard your heartbeat and saw you on the monitor..and the moment I felt you kick I just knew that I would love you more than anything, but never knew it would be this much. You are my Favorite lil boy ever and now you are going to be a big brother and I will have two favorite boys :) I can't wait to see you as a big brother, I know you will be the best big brother that there ever was or is. Thank you for the best year of my life and for letting me watch you grow and learn along with you. <3

We are so excited that there will be another lil boy bringing fun into our house in no time..I know Him and Tate will be Best Friends. January 22, 2012 <3

6 days....

2011-08-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am going to have a one year old in 6 days, wow. . .

Tate is learning new habits and new words. He now says momma, dadda, bobba(bottle), hey, ball, uh-oh, and bompa(grandpa). It is seriously the cutest thing to hear him talk and he always has a look on his face like he knows he figured something out. He is so smart..almost too smart for his own good! He figures things out that I can't believe and some things, I'm not super excited about.

I pictured this week from the time he was born, figuring I would be crying and just sad that my baby really isn't a baby anymore..But actually, for the most part I am really happy and so much looking forward to what the next year brings. I'll be Watching my favorite boy in the ENTIRE WORLD grow and learn, and of course I'll be learning right along with him.

I have learned so much as a mom, and honestly feel that nothing compares to that joy. My life changed so much when I had Tate, and I realized that I took a lot of things for granted..Even just some of the things that were EASY before being a mom. A lot of things are harder, and nothing is really convenient but I never have questioned my choice of being a mom and I never will. It is better than anything I had ever imagined and is the highlight of my life. There is nothing greater.

I hope to post some of the pictures from this past year, and do a little catch up. It has been so fun looking back and seeing all that has changed. And...I think he gets cuter everyday;) For all of you that have been awaiting Tate's haircut, it is coming soon!!!

Tate loves to get into everything especially in the kitchen, he is busy busy..
He loves fruit, especially grapes..and Whenever dad has an apple Tate waits for him to throw it away so he can snatch it from the trash..(We have learned just to give it to him before its gone!) He loves being outside and especially going on walks, it always calms him down. He is so good at sharing and if you ask he will share anything, except his bottle! He loves birds, still..and always wants to play with a ball! He blows kisses and waves--most of the time. Tate pretends that just about anything is a phone and he always picks things up, holds them to his ear and YELLS "hey" (that is unless someone really is on the phone..then he just wants to listen:) ) His favorite movies are Curious Buddies and Elmo in Grouchland. He can watch either one for hours on end, dad hates it. He is also a very very good dancer:) he doesn't get that from his mom. AND SO MUCH MORE, he is so fun!!

What a Boy..

2011-04-26T15:55:00.000-07:00

As for Tate's first Easter it was fun! We spent time with his Grandma's and Grandpa's and Meme & Bompa. We had an Easter Egg Hunt and a Great Dinner! We were able to get him to pick up a few Easter Eggs and he LOVED the toys and candy. He LOVES sour candies and Hershey's Chocolate pie..His favorite thing is toy cars. He is so adorable and has the natural boy instinct to push lil cars all over the house. So for Easter he got a couple tractors and a Shake-N-Go Batman Car. I need to take videos and post them, it is so funny to me that an 8 month old can catch onto that..And he's been doing it for about a month! He also loves Basketballs, Birds, and doing this funny blowing thing with his mouth everytime he sees something he likes. I love it.

MIA

2011-04-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

As you can see I haven't been posting much..I am one of those that believes you have to have a picture with any post to make it interesting! I had been taking so many pictures that I took my camera everywhere and managed to lose the charger..Hopefully I find it soon. For now, I rely on not so great cell phone pics and good mom's who actually keep track of their camera's ;)

Lil Mr. Keep Me Busy

2011-04-26T15:39:00.001-07:00

Life is going so good right now....
Tate has been crawling for almost 4 months now, and is already trying to walk..I give it about a month, we'll see! Not sure whether that is good or bad but I just love watching him grow! He is definitely going to keep me busy, He is already into everything..He finally got rid of his nasty cough and also has now celebrated his first Valentine's Day & his first Easter! It has gone so fast, it's really kind of sad!

Last week I was getting dinner ready and Tate was sitting in the front room watching Elmo, or so I thought..I look over and see that he's not in front of the TV but instead he had pushed the chest I have filled with movies down the hallway! Apparently he was trying to tell me his toy box isn't good enough for him...At least that's the impression I was getting!

Then just Yesterday I was watching him with this wrapped candy bar wondering why he was being so good and content. After a few minutes I realized why! I noticed the chocolate starting to smear around his mouth and I realized he had chewed it so much that it started to come out of the wrapper..Needless to say, he got his first taste of a Snickers!

Just a little while later Brandon and I were watching Dancing with the Stars and Tate proceeds to stand up by pulling himself up on the poles of his swing..Before we knew it he started giving us a Chippendale's show..I don't know where he got the pole dancing Idea from but it was hilarious..I got a video, sadly it's a little dark but I might just have to post it sometime;)

Then this morning I get him out of his crib and leave the room for a second to grab a diaper. I come back and I don't see him anywhere and then I hear him in the bathroom. I walk in and within about a minute he had rolled half of the toilet paper off the roll!

Wow....what are we in for..It is going to be a great next few years! I love being kept on my toes;)

What an Adventure!

Last Week

2011-03-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

Last week was a crazy one. Let's just say work and school consumed too much of my life but there were a few highlights of moments I spent with Tate. Luckily those save me from going insane. Tate has kept a little cough so we are going to do breathing treatments again to get that all better! Poor kid absolutely hated the doctor yesterday and started to pass out from crying so hard when the doctor checked his ear..probably because he still has a bit of an ear infection.

Just over a month a go Tate had RSV and was so sick and miserable but it lasted about two weeks and he was back to feeling better after lots of medicine and breathing treatments. Some days he loved those and would even do them all by himself while he watched cartoons. Other days it was hard to get him to cooperate but we are so lucky to have such a good baby.

Tate started crawling up the stairs last Tuesday. I can't believe how fast he is growing. I think life is busy with a crawler and then he learns a new trick but he is getting so fun and even though he keeps me on my toes I love watching him explore and learn. He also waves when you say hi or bye to him, how adorable! That is not perfected but he's getting better everyday. As for pulling himself up, there is not a waking moment that he is not crawling around or standing up on the silk plants, piano benches, couches, chairs, laundry baskets or something! Who knew that would happen at six months. It is quite an adventure with that little boy..before I know it he'll be walking! Last night I was going through pictures on my phone and seeing how much he's grown..I literally remember almost every moment that those pictures were taken even if they were just simple and everyday things. He melts my heart , and those brought tears to my eyes! I miss having my little cuddlebug lay next to me and just put his head on my shoulder...he is way too big for that now, he thinks he's too cool for it I guess!

My birthday is in four days! My first birthday with my little guy! I am excited to hopefully spend a day with the boys & with family. I can't believe all of the blessings the last few years have brought to my life.

My BEAUTIFUL sister.

2011-02-26T17:56:00.001-08:00

We had nothing to work with and some of these are completely unedited! I am looking forward to shooting with furniture & at better locations, starting Monday! She still made these pictures perfect!

2011-02-24T16:27:00.000-08:00

I have decided I want to start doing photography..
I think I might team up with someone and get started, just experimenting.
It's always been a huge interest of mine but I've never taken initiative and pursued it. I have seven credits left to get for my associates degree and I have to take twelve in order to keep my scholarship for Fall of this year, I'm debating..and thinking I might take photgraphy classes since I think they wouldn't only be fun and useful..but also free..Even if the credits won't transfer..

It's not for sure..but it's a tentative plan, I'm also considering retaking one of the classes I ended up with a B in..But afraid of the possibility that I would end with the same result, and it doesn't affect my GPA enough to matter anyway..
So I have to decide...Take Anatomy again..or not. We will see.

And..for anyone interested, I would love to experiment by taking pictures of YOU.

In the mean time I will just enjoy lovin on my little..
He is my world.

Cute Moments of the Week ♥

2011-02-19T22:43:00.000-08:00

I adore him. This week, he was cute as ever. He makes me smile, I'm just a bit sad that he won't look at the camera for pictures anymore..he knows, I guess that means I've taken too many.

One night, when we were getting ready for bed Tate crawled around on our bed for a few minutes before deciding to fall asleep on Brandon's leg, he was also asleep. IT was adorable to say the least.

This smile, it gets me everytime ♥
He is my PRINCE:)

He will be one handsome lil baseball player!
And this right here..

..just has to be the cutest face ever.

My not so little 6 month old

2011-02-19T22:05:00.001-08:00

I love my little six month old! Wait a minute..6 months old? Omg that went way too fast! Tate growing up has been everything I expected..Very Bittersweet Loving each stage as I miss the last!But my lil man now has a personality and a half, that's for sure! He is the sweetest little guy and just melts my heart, I think he probably gets annoyed with the 5 billion kisses he gets each day but what can I say..I can't resist! He is getting very active and loves to crawl around everywhere which means I have to keep a much closer eye on him. Homework with him in the room is nearly impossible..He tipped over the bouncer I had him sitting in while attempting to grab,(and probably eat/destroy) my textbooks...what a goof! It might be frustrating at times but I can't ever help but laugh. He adds so much fun to my life.
Yesterday we were playing, or I was watching him play in his pack and play when he decided he is done being a baby that just crawls around, at 6 months and 3 days old he grabbed the side of his bed and stood up, all on his own! I was amazed and could not believe that my tiny little guy did that so quickly..I am just glad I was right there or I could just imagine him trying to jump out of there. Which reminds me of his "Thing of the past" which really isn't a thing of the past since he still does it..but it's old news! I used to come home and if Tate was asleep I would set his carseat down in the darkest room so I wouldn't wake him, I would just unbuckle him so he could be comfy, until the day I walked in the front room to find my baby on the floor!! Being that he wasn't even 5 months I wasn't expecting that I needed to worry about...No more of that, he has the strategy down! Oh the things you learn as a mommy; You can never be too certain:) He keeps me on my toes, & I think thats a good thing...For now anyway!

School & Such..

2011-02-18T18:01:00.000-08:00

I am loving life lately, I think the busy days with school and everything going on make me appreciate life as a mommy even more.
I have had some very late nights
I guess now I know where my Tater Bug gets his curiosity from!
I can't pull myself away from everything going on during the day so I stay up so late each night doing homework
I am feeling very accomplished though
& very much looking forward to my associates degree I will receive this summer or after fall semester!
I will have seven credits left once spring semester is over so I have three options:
Wait to finish and take Fall classes, do two classes over the summer which will be everyday and long, or do Rio Salado online classes. What to do?!

And as for my career? I was so set on being a neonatologist
Then so set on being a neonatal nurse
& So set on a Physicians Assistant or Nurse Practitioner
Now thinking PharmacisT?!

What is wrong with my mind..or my motivation...whatever it is!

Now I really don't know what I am so set on... suppose only time will tell, I think success is really what I am striving for, so as long as whatever I do leads to that, I will be happy:)
& honestly I already am! Being a mom is the best job, my career will come second! Someday I hope to post about loving my career, when I finally make up my mind and finish those years of school! I am looking forward to all of it! It will be a fun ride!

Brandon is also facing "career choices", he recently applied and tried out with the Pinal County Sherriffs dept, and will hopefully have a 2nd go-around with a different department soon. Until then..We had contemplated spending the summer in Cali for Brandon to work for Moxie, but now they moved the sales team here to target Phoenix so that might come before his police journey...Yet again, we will see:)

NEW HAIR?!

2011-01-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

This is the picture that was supposed to be linked on my last post but didn't work, I'm thinking this but a little longer..It's my current Favorite but I'm not sure I can cut my hair, I don't know that I'm brave enough to do it yet!

Let me know what you think or if you have any better suggestions, I'm definitely not a hair expert! :)

2011-01-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

I started school almost a week ago and so far the classes seem manageable..but they always do in the beginning! The hardest part so far is just leaving my baby! I just have to keep reminding myself to FOCUS!

I am still loving the mommy life!
I am planning now to go and talk with counselors at MCC where they have their nursing program that leads right into a Nurse Practitioner program they offfer. It is more money than a Physicians Assistant and seems more practical for me than medical school.

We had a great Christmas spending time with family and we recently got to go to Disney on Ice with the Merkley's which was one of our Christmas presents from them.
I figured Tate would like it but I didn't know he would be as excited as he was!
He absolutely loved it! The bright lights kept him entertained and I don't think he made a peep the entire night!

About a month ago I finally decided that I have to put Tate down occasionally and give him some tummy time! He picked up on the "Army crawl" so fast and I'm sure he'll be crawling and then walking before we know it, which makes me so sad! This is a fun stage as he is learning new things each day!

I never updated on his 4 month doctor appt! He was a whopping 13lb. 14oz. Which was more than his cousin Gunner who is 2 1/2 months older! I was shocked but now you can definitely tell he is getting to be a chunky boy! I say he should've learned to crawl before he packed on the pounds...It's much easier to do when you're not a chubster! But I love his chubby cheeks and rolls! He just gets cuter everyday!

His new favorite thing is watching someone open and close the shutters from the outside of the window..He thinks it's hilarious and his giggle is priceless! I am absolutely in love with everything about that kid and sad to say that he is sick for the first time. His nose was stuffy and runny yesterday but he seems to be doing a little better after lots of sleep! I hope he gets completely better soon! I hate sick babies that can't tell you what is wrong...So sad!

Brandon and I have officially known eachother 2 years as of January 16th, it is crazy to think all that has happened in that time....

I hope you all had a great start to the year!

My New Year's Resolutions are to lose a few more pounds & get ready so I can apply to nursing school!

I also want to cut my hair...shorter, but not too short! I'm ready for something a little different. I haven't done anything new in a long time....Any cute cuts, styles, or suggestions?! I would love to hear them! :)

This is my current "Like"....I just don't want to go this short and I don't know if it will work for me!!

2010-12-17T10:41:00.001-08:00

We finally took some time to do pictures of our family...It's sad that we have no pictures together! So it was good to finally do that! Words can't express how much I love my boys!

2010-11-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

The holidays are here, and it's been crazy and fun. We were able to spend a lot of time with family this Thanksgiving and make even more fun memories and of course eat tons of delicious food! I've got to admit the desserts are my favorite! With the holiday we decided Tate might want a little something new, a little something better as far as his food goes! We tried giving Tate cereal, he would not eat it, he just let it slide out of his mouth and down his face...but I'm not a stranger to his messiness! He spits up constantly, I hear it's a Merkley baby thing! That's ok at least he's a cutie, and it helps when they're your own! Hopefully once we get him eating more cereal the constant spitting up will subside:)

We also decided we would try the Black Friday thing, which is great and all..but when you can't wait in line a little earlier it's a bit pointless. I drove to Toy's R Us and got there about 10:30, only a half hour after opening and there was probably at least 300-400 people waiting outside..and no that is no exaggeration! You can bet I wasn't waiting in that line for the few things I wanted.

We went to babies r us the next morning and we were happy to walk away with a few packages of diapers and some clothes for our lil man! Later we picked up some DVDs for Tate and a few Christmas gifts...We didn't have to wait in line for three days so it was worth it! :)

A couple nights later we tried the cereal again...and it was a success! Surprisingly, he seemed to like it even though he did make funny faces throughout his dinner! As far as the hope that he would sleep longer at night with his tummy so full: FAIL. He still wakes me up every couple hours!It's a Good thing he's cute:) and that I've adjusted to the idea of no sleep!

Lorin, WE MISS YOU

2010-11-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been two years already that Lorin left us for the better things he's accomplishing up in heaven.! It is so hard to think about sometimes but I could not have asked for anyone better to have taken care of my baby until he came to us, and it is definitely a comfort for the Merkley/Overson family now knowing that someone in Heaven was waiting for Uncle Rick and Aunt Pattie..It helps everyone knowing they are in good hands....All the way around! WE miss you so much Lo! Keep up the good work, and we will see you again someday!

Yesterday we were able to stop by the cemetery and visit for a little while, it's always great learning more about your life and being reminded of the amazing person you are. I hope that now you are able to see the impact that you left on all of us..
and that you are still leaving, especially with the little ones. Landon and Van remember you and I know they look forward to seeing you again. You had a sweet entry in your journal about Landon. He talked about that all night at dinner! You were always thinking of others, and that takes someone special!

Till We See You Again...<3
WE LOVE YOU!

November!

2010-11-16T13:01:00.000-08:00

I have had a great week and so much has been going on...
I love being busy, especially when there's exciting things going on!
& It makes nights at home more enjoyable when I get to sit down and relax with my favorite boys! Tate is growing up so fast, I can't stand it! But at the same time I just love him and his changing personality more everyday! He is so much more than I ever could have asked for.

My Tate,

I just want you to know that you are perfect and you make me the happiest mom in the whole world. I love being able to watch you grow. You are laughing a little now and smiling more everyday. You are now 3 months old and it has all gone by so fast! I wish I could pause time but I know that each new chapter will be just as exciting as the last! Thanks for being my little cuddle bug, and keeping me warm now that it's starting to get cold. I am looking forward to our first Christmas together! And to all those to come! P.S. you are my favorite.

Love,
Mommy

Tate just got a new toy..it keeps him very entertained, he loves it! It was soo worth the $8 it cost us, we'll do anything to make this cute lil man happy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON! WE LOVEEEEE YOU! <3

Also we've had a couple birthdays to celebrate! First Brandons on the 3rd, then my sisters on the 11th and Jason's on the 13th. This is a busy month for our little family but it's been so fun! Tate loved watching the candles being lit on all the cakes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE JUSTYNE!

We also had Beze's wedding! It was so crazy to think back on all of the memories and to watch her with her new hubby. I told her now she just has to have a baby so our kids can grow up together like we were able to! Wouldn't that be so much fun?! I guess we'll see! I'm just happy to now have a married friend! That was Tate's first wedding! Congrats Alli & Brian!

I am bummed that we missed the ground breaking of the temple but I look forward to watching the progress as I drive to school, that should start the morning off right!..

Next...THANKSGIVING! I absolutely love this time of year, I guess it has a lot to do with how much I LOVE my family! I really am blessed..

Can't wait to spend the day with all of you!

LOVE

2010-11-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

i LOVE the weather this time of year, and looking forward to all of the holiday fun with friends and family! One of my best friends growing up will be getting married today, soo crazy and exciting (Now I'll actually have a married friend!) and my best friend ASHLEY will be down to visit in December! I haven't seen her since my baby shower so it has been way too long! I miss her and all of the fun we always had so I'm definitely looking forward to her visit around Christmas!

We have already had such a fun start to the fall season!

Tate had his first Halloween!!!
We were able to go to MeMe & Bompa's Trunk or Treat and to Uncle Jared and Aunt Sarah's block party..Tate had so much fun, I think he liked the attention!

I must admit...he's the cutest lil cop I'e ever seen!
It was kind of last minute that we decided on a costume..but one look at those lil aviator glasses and this just had to be it! And he was adorable..it was too funny!
Thanks Build-A-Bear!!!!!

And ya, I was supposed to be the "criminal"...I know, real creative!haha

One of the best things about being a mom= watching my baby learn and grow, and experience all of his firsts! First Thanksgiving..First Christmas, here we come! You won't understand it this year but you will learn and you will Love it!

Tate+Car Rides=Happy Baby:)

2010-10-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

Most Days Tate LOVES car rides..
and he always starts out with a HUGE smile, which I must say I ABSOLUTELY adore!

Somewhere along the way it always turns into a staring contest which cracks me up every time!
That usually happens just before he falls asleep
I just LOVE that it starts, and ends with a very happy little man:)

Oh and for all those wondering...

2010-10-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

Here are the STATS:{2 months old}

60%Length
8%Weight
=Gonna be Tall & Skinny!

2010-10-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

This poor kid must think the world is a horrible place, i would.
But I'm Happy to say he is one of the HAPPIEST babies I have ever seen, and that's just one more thing I absolutely adore about him.
Shots and his tongue being chopped all in one week, and look at that smile!!
oh...& he has his
mommy wrapped around his tiny lil finger

I'm in Love.

2010-10-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

A Trip to the ER....a clipping of my poor baby's tongue..and a goodbye to his daddy for a few days all helped to make this last week interesting, But somehow we all survived! :) Actually we now are even more grateful for the days when we are feeling good and healthy!

Poor Tate had to go to the ENT with his MeMe and Grandma while I was home fighting off a pretty bad fever due to a kidney infection..I was glad that I didn't have to watch my baby put through that pain but felt so bad that I couldn't be there to wrap him in my arms! He was such a good boy though and showed us just how strong he is! And I didn't hesitate to give him tons of kisses or squeeze him tight as soon as I had him back!

Then Brandon left with his dad and brothers to go hunt elk in Flagstaff for the weekend..He had an eventful couple days leading up to that and I'm sure he was very glad to get away! It left me with my little guy, and I've been able to take in a lot of my little sweetheart's adorable personality. I really don't know how I was so blessed with such perfection in my life. The Mommy Life is just amazing. & I'm learning something new every single day.

And we're slowly figuring out what makes our baby boy happy......

Little Mr Perfect

2010-09-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

This past month has flown by since I became a mommy.
I always imagined how it would feel to actually cuddle, and kiss, and just LOVE & ADORE a baby of my own but to my surprise being a mom is so much more than I expected, so much better! From the second they handed the little guy to me in the hospital I felt so close to him, it's a bond that is unlike any other! I kissed his head at that moment and I honestly don't think I've ever been so relieved over anything. I was so glad to finally hold him in my arms...and see the baby I had been thinking about and imagining for what seemed like so long. Those were the things I had been most excited about my entire pregnancy. Cuddling my baby, and seeing what he looked like. And I fell in love with him instantly. He grabbed my finger the second I wrapped him in my arms and that just made my heart melt, I think my finger would have turned purple if it hadnt yet already..He had the strongest little grip and did not want to let go. I'll never forget those first moments.

The ten months...(9 months and 3 weeks to be exact) of waiting could not have been more worth the beautiful baby boy that I have now. I look at him and his adorable little face and I really have never seen a cuter baby in my life. I am in love with his blonde hair...his blue eyes that might someday change...and the little smile that shows the one dimple he has. It really does get me everytime. He is absolutely perfect and I am completely in love, More than I ever thought possible.It's an amazing feeling to look at your baby and be able to see little bits of yourself.

I have already teared up a few times at the thought of how fast the time has gone with my lil Tate, and as much as I hate to think of him growing up and wish
I could keep him my little baby forever...I look forward to all that is to come.

To the birthdays, and the personality changes..The laughs and first steps..Pretty much EVERYTHING.

Being a mom is the best feeling there is. Nothing in the world can compare.

Less than a month now and Brandon and I will bee married for a year, time has flown by and with our new little addition we are happier than ever and looking forward to the fun future we have ahead of us and the new chapter that has now begun!

Ready When you Are!

2010-07-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

I realized the other day how bummed I'm going to be that I'm not keeping up on my journal for Tate, I have always had good intentions with it but my feelings have always been the same..I've just been happy from day one of finding out that there was a little baby going to come into our lives.

Now...We are down to exactly a month before he is scheduled to get here, but let me be the first to say that when he's ready I'm ready..

Brandon even finished up the room, he put wainscoating up and re painted all by himself and I was really proud of him and the amazing job that he did! It looks better than I even expected and I hope he's happy with it too:)

We're looking forward to putting up the finishing touches but the main things are finished..So Tate, you can just be here as soon as you wanna be here! We cannot wait to meet you.

I had my shower a week ago, and I was so surprised with the turn out! It was great to see everyone and to see all of the cute stuff everyone picked out for our baby!
We are pretty much set on clothing and we have so many extra little things that I cannot wait to use once Tate is here. I am having so much fun just thinking about it and getting everything ready!

I am in love with how this turned out! Thank you babe for working so hard on it, even when you were completely exhausted!

He is one spoiled child already! I think it might be safe to say he has a larger, and not to mention better wardrobe than his mommy!

By the looks of this Watermelon in my tummy I would say your about ready lil boy!!

Baby Baby Baby!

2010-07-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

I knew it had been a long time since I last wrote on here...or wrote anything that didn't have something to do with Anatomy! But I think it took Brandon realizing that I've been slacking to finally convince me to change that..

I'm almost done with my Anatomy Class that will be a huge relief and honestly anytime after 10:30 (July 22) I am ready for my baby to be here! I really can't wait..But before then, We have a nursery to finish...The walls went from baby blue to beige [we like to make things hard on ourselves], I guess I should say Brandon has a nursery to finish! He's putting up wainscoating! and we finally got the bedding! I havent been much help with the room but that is proably a good thing, Things will look much better that way!! Other than that..I have my baby shower this Thursday! I'm anxious to see all of the cute things everyone picked out for Tate and I know it will get me even more excited to be a mom!

And possibly the fact that the picture in the post below might leave a few of you in shock when you next see me, I no longer have that tiny belly, it really does grow bigger by the day! But I guess I should have known that before now! Not only is my tummy bigger but I seem to have hmmm....blown up this last week! Literally my feet and ankles and legs look like balloons, probably the most unattractive thing I've ever seen in my life but I've managed to just laugh it off most days! And Brandon gets some good laughs in every now and then too! If you see me..and my ankles are exposed, please remind me to wear jeans:) Sometimes I forget with this 115 degree weather and can't help it! I even had my nephew run up to me at dinner the other night asking if my feet were still fat, That's when you know it's gone a little too far at least he wasn't telling me something I didn't already know. Just a little over a month more of this..

Honestly typing that last sentence made me a little sad..I love the idea of meeting my baby boy but theres already days I don't feel him wiggling around in my stomach for a few hours and I already miss him at that point, I might just miss these side aches, sleepless night and karate kicks to my ribs pretty soon here. I know men have no idea what it's like to be pregnant and some may say that they are lucky but to me every little bit of it has been so worth it and even exciting. I think a smile comes to my face everytime I feel his little arm or foot against my stomach, Ya....I will miss it..There's nothing like this, absolutely no comparison. [28 weeks]
[7 Months/ 28 weeks]

[34 weeks]

"& no one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. after all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside"

Doneee.

2010-05-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

I cannot say how happy I will be that last day of school! Particularly the last day of ANATOMY, that class has been the hardest ever.. but I actually have kind of enjoyed it and learned a lot. So I'm signed up to do anatomy & physiology II this summer..Wondering if it's worth the risk! But hey it would sure make time go faster till this baby gets here since I know I'd have too much homework and studying to focus on anything else! Maybe thats a good thing?! I would be out of class July 22! Just one month before Tate should be here!Life is crazy, but I'm loving it.

we are finally getting his room started, but everything we had planned is now being thought over again....Great! Just when you think you have everything figured out!

Oh well...it will be a fun process:)

Thoughts

2010-04-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

I tried to change my song, but realized I forgot my playlist.com password,
then I got to thinking and realized it's true..Life doesn't always seem beautiful but it sure does right now! I have so much to look forward to!

I went to the doctor the other day and once again everything was perfect, every appt leaves me with such relief knowing that my baby boy is doing so good...and each time we're a month closer to seeing that cute lil boy! I am so excited! I just can't wait....

Patience.........Patience.

16 more weeks ( or less )...i hope:)

Our Baby Boy! ♥

2010-04-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

I am already so in love with this baby in my belly...even if he does make me fatter everyday, especially lately:) look at my ultrasound pictures and can't help but imagine how cute he is gonna be! I guess pregnancy just leaves you full of wonder...I have no idea what to expect with anything so it's like having nine full months of surprises!

We are naming him after his uncle of course..and even though we'll call him Tate I have a feeling he'll look a lot like uncle Lorin..it's only fitting, which also means he'll most likely look like Brandon rather than me! I wouldn't be too disappointed if he got something from me though! I think that's cute..to be able to see yourself in your little kids, I guess we'll see in a few months. The excitement is growing. I know Tate is just up there enjoying every last second he has with Lo, and I hope he learns well from him!

We say he is spoiled already! Because I feel as if anytime I see anyone, they are talking about what they'll be making baby Tate or handing us more things to fill his closet! I just can't wait to dress him in all the cute little outfits from everybody!

Other than that, we are starting to get excited about putting together his room, my dad is even making him a crib which will be very special to us! I am looking forward to seeing the finished result and watching his room come together it will make me want him here even more.. but I just keep telling myself patience, patience! I guess we should take advantage of the sleep time too! But the idea of waking up to my baby every few hours doesn't bother me yet.! I am looking forward to pretty much everything and I can't believe we will be parents before we know it! It will be, and is such a blessing and makes us so happy already.

We love our Baby Tate! XOXO

Love of My Life.

2010-03-18T14:16:00.001-07:00

I love him.

Cutest Song Ever. I Think the words are something to live by!

2010-03-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

They called them crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy

He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yea that’s crazy

Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy

Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget

Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I Love You
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common since
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get to old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy

They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now

Aint that crazy?

A YeAr Of ChAnGe!..

2010-02-01T15:34:00.000-08:00

So as we've been staying with Brandon's parents just waiting for our house to close, I've enjoyed spending lots of time with them just talking about many things. She reminded me today that Brandon have known eachother just over a year...which was really the 16th, and I remembered but never sat down to write about it. But I just look back and realize how much really has happened in this past year...and boyy it seems like a lot. We went through some hard times as Brandon came home to the devastation of his brother not being there to hug..and we were all feeling that. Then we started dating, I guess no one was really surprised about that. & I'm glad that his family was so close to me and that he fit into mine so well, so fast. It has made our relationship much easier...and a lot more fun having such fun families!
Then we went through school, not seeing eachother much which was a little strange for us....We actually had to spend time apart! Wow now that's tough! I started taking online classes and with lots of help with keeping me on those studies I finished my senior year in the last few months of my junior one! But it wasn't easy.
So then came graduation and all of that fun stuff.. Then Brandon went camping and I missed him a lot for a few days, Now I FINALLY get to go this year:) it should be very exciting......hopefully i'm feeling very adventurous! Then my family was leaving to California over the summer, once I was done with my college psych class at CGCC, and I was so excited yet bummed that Brandon had to work and couldn't come along....Then I was very surprised to have him come there, and PROPOSE! Yea it was AmAZinG! I couldn't believe it and it was MORE than I ever expected! Then Brandon and I got started on wedding planning...well as much as we could but our mom's had a lot to do with getting everything SquaRed AwaY! You know, the dress, the colors ( that changed 8 million times) the decor, flowers, the location all of those things...but in the END, it Was PERFECT.

Overall, it's been a CRaZY, StrEsSfuL, ExCiting, Adventurous, RoManTic, Fun, LoVinG,HapPY, WoNderful, Eventful Past Year and I wouldn't change a thing...Except maybe take more time to think....Love a little more than I have...Be a little more patient, Be more grateful for the wonderful husband and things that I have, Give more hugs and kisses...and Just be a Better Wife. But maybe I'll now make that my New Years Resolution.

Our First Adventurous Date! Out on the Quads With Brittany & Jay:)

One of many beautiful bouquets of Roses from Brandon to ME:)

MiNi Golfing at Golfland...What a Fun NigHt!

Hiking up the San Tan Mountains! WE got some gorgeous Pics of the Sunset!

Graduation Night!

Bring on the Rain!

2010-01-23T12:18:00.000-08:00

Ohhh how I love the rain, though I do have to say that it's a little less fun when youre at school all day and it's pouring on you between classes. It's much more amazing and a lot more enjoyable just being able to watch it or going out it in it when you don't have to worry about having to be somewhere.
So Yesterday Brandon came to me saying that his brothers were going mud bogging. Hmm... At first I wasn't real excited about it and told him I thought I'd just go home, I was exhausted from the busy week but he insisted I go, So my day yesterday was spent with the Boys and of course Delilah driving through the muddy hills in big 4 wheel drive trucks...And NO it wasn't as bad as I expected.

2010-01-15T12:13:00.001-08:00

THis is one of my absolute favorite pictures of the entire day.

I Love Being Able to look back and remember the amazing day we had when we got married. The pictures and the memories are something we will always cherish. It was such a perfect day! Getting ready for the wedding was a fun, despite all that craziness. We had so many ppl help us with our adorable candy booth, the food and the decorations. It was BEAUTIFUL!

2010-01-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

The PlANNiNG:)

2010-01-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

We had a lot of fun leading up to our wedding, but along with that came a bit of stress, it didn't help that we were both working and full time students. But, in the end every bit of it was worth it..I couldn't believe how amazing everything turned out and I was so grateful for the help that everyone offered, it wouldn't have been the same without all the help! Our moms both pulled off everything and did an amazing job with everything they took on. we love you all! First we had to decide who we wanted standing next to us....We had a pretty dang good looking group, and a fun one with all of our most favorites! We wouldn't have had it any other way! :)
We were able to have Brandon's brothers(Jason & Jared, and of course our best friend Lorin was right there with us! ), and their wives (Brie and Sarah) along with my sister Justyne and my best friend Ashley! They definitely provided some entertainment especially when it came to dancing!!!

WEDDiNG BliSS!♥

2009-12-31T21:13:00.000-08:00

This dress, was definitely a stressful process, I like to think you could never tell but the sleeves were added to it, We ordered extra fabric that didn't come in until not even two weeks before I was beginning to think I would be dressLESS for my own wedding! I'm not sure too many people would appreciate that..!

Got Milk?

2009-12-31T20:57:00.001-08:00

Married life, it's great. But its about to get even better!
We've spent the last couple months...ever since we were married living
in a little guest house where we feed cows, wake up to cows, and wake up to
them several times every night and if it's not the cows, it's the dang refrigerator.
Funny thing is we were generously given two fridges by family members which could easily replace this annoying thing but time after time we've put it off and continuously let it get to us. Anyways, our good news..It is a 75% sure thing that we will be in a house we happened to fall in love with by the end of January. Maybe I'm just so excited because we've had 22 offers in and this is the most hope we've had all along! And the best house we've seen so far. Can anyone say 22 is the new luckyyy number?!

Full Time...

2009-12-08T02:34:00.000-08:00

Let me just tell you words can't even begin to explain how excited I am for these next couple weeks. Reason number one SCHOOL. It has this way of stressing me out beyond belief and ohhh yea, keeping me up till 4 am..ha hence the time.

& of course I cant forget Christmas! It will be mine and Brandon's first Christmas together and I'm very anxious for it and the fun we are able to have with the family. We decided we'll skip presents this year and embrace the true meaning of Christmas & eachother.

We close on our first hous the 30th..So that's Christmas enough for us:)

71809

2009-08-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

Here's something worth writing about, as I'm sure few are wondering--But the word is out TO PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE!

I'm Engaged, To the most wonderful, perfect, amazing guy I have ever met in my life and I couldn't be happier :) Bet you didn't see that one coming!;)

Well here's how this all went down..I planned this vacation to San Diego with my parents and my younger brother and sister, kinda last minute so Brandon( eventhough i begged and bribed him to come)..."Couldn't get off work" ya...RIGHT! Little did I know he was sitting at home planning out things for this little surprise he had planned.

I was in Cali..hanging out with my mom shopping and just relaxing on the beach and when Brandon drove 6 hours there and happened to make it in the room next to me I even shared a few phone calls with him..Little did I know we also shared a wall, haha how he pulls these things off i have no idea!

But Saturday night (7-18-09) at around 7 we went to the beach just to relax and watch the tide come in...without getting sunburned AGAIN! Yea apparently no one believes in the use of sunscreen anymore..Or we just never learn! Anyways...my mom was being all paranoid about me getting my clothes wet, and here I was like whatever it's not like we're doing anything special..and then all of the sudden she's in this major rush to get off the beach. I'm clueless right..so I just go along with it not thinking anything of it!
Well 7:20 we arrive at Solana Beach, the sun is setting and its beautiful..It was quite a trek down the long stairway and we all kind of stopped to look out at the ocean as I turned to go down the second step I see a very familiar person sitting with their back turned on the last step..Boy was I excitedd! I went running down the 2nd set of stairs going "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERe?!" I was relieved when he turned around confirming that it really was Brandon, Plus I had missed him like CRAZY!
He handed me a note that referred to our conversation earlier in the day..it said " You know how I said I only loved you 96.78%? Well take ten steps and see how much my love grew. Ten steps later I pulled a bottle out of the sand that again gave me a percentage, and again said his love for me was growing....The final bottle led me to a blanket where I imagined we would sit to watch the sunset together. But Brandon had other plans! He's so unpredictable...but always surprising?!idk. WEll he pulled up the blanket and a box laid underneath, immediately i began shaking uncontrollably.

After a bit of a struggle I finally got the box opened...and I saw the ring and was just in shock...He got on his knee and asked me and in his words"I attacked him"...I like to say it was just a huge hug...& of course I said yes!!!!! who wouldnt?!

WHAT CAN I SAY??! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING!
*credit to my mom for getting some great pics and helping pull this off- you didnt give it a way!* I Love you!

MMMMMM;) Baseball Games && Ice Cream.

2009-07-15T02:43:00.001-07:00

Perfect combo righttt?
and you know what made the night even better.....
I was with BRANDONNNNNN! yess I know it was just amazing even though the Dbacks lost..We weren't too surprised anyway! GO FIGURE.

But the best part of the night...
The Dessert....MMMMMMmmmmMM Delicious! We went to Nielsens and had lots of fun joking around and making faces as you can seee here

My Birthday

2009-04-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I knew for my birthday this year that I'd most likely be with Brandon and that he would come up with something good! He always does, I just was completely clueless to what it might be.

IT was a huge surprise and I didnt know what was coming.. I kinda liked the idea of that and was hoping no one would give it away, but sure enough LeAnn called me on Thursday, We always call eachother randomly so it was nothing out of the ordinary. She asked if i had a minute and then proceeded to tell me how she went in Brandon's room and found tickets to Cavalia sitting on his bed. She started to tell me all about it and how exciting it would be and how much she wished she could go..while I'm on the other end of the phone with this worried look on my face going..GREATTTT. How the heck am I gonna act surprised about this.? But I made it my goal to make sure Brandon didnt find out I knew, so he could feel like he completely surprised me like I knew he wanted to.

Well the next night rolls around..I'm all set to go to Cavalia and Brandon finally shows up an hour after he told me he would, and still plans on dinner. I'm freaking out but I can't say anything.. I just knew we were gonna be late and I didnt want $200 tickets to some horse show going to waste. haha

But I sit at dinner acting completely oblivious to the entire thing! I thought I did pretty good. WEll finally, 7:45 we leave the restaurant in Queen Creek and have to drive to Phoenix...in 15 mins! ya rightttt.

Well two Camera flashes later on the freeway and driving wayyy too fast.. we make it to the exit in pretty good time, go to turn off of the freeway and Brandon has me pull an envelope out of the middle console that says" may all your dreams come true tonight"...I pull out to tickets to "CAVALIA" and dont even bother to read them but act like I am while still trying to figure out what to say. ha how funny. WEll he turns on the light and finally I see that the tickets say Rascal Flatts..

Lets just say they got me good! I've never been so surprised in my life.! I had been dying to go since I found out but the tickets had been sold out. The night was absolutely amazing..and I was convinced even more that I have the most PERFECT
boyfriend EVERRRR!

Not to mention the beautiful ring he had me pull out from under the seat later that night, that is his promise to me for the future..whoooooo, what a night!!!

TiMe To CaTcH Up..

2009-04-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Its been a few months, and I haven't posted anything but so much has happened. It's funny, the more you have to tell the less time you have to tell it..I guess it always works that way. Most of my life isn't a secret. Brandon and I tried keeping things on the DL, not wanting to deal with all the questions we expected to have coming our way when people found out, but now everything about him and everything that's happened to me since I met him has been nothing but a blessing to me. He's the boyfriend, the best friend, pretty much everything. And.....I couldn't think of having things any other way.

Since Bran got home, I'd say we've pretty much been together every single day....At least once, I think its safe to say we're pathetic when it comes to how much we miss eachother but I guess thats what LOVE is. Hmm..

Well among the fun things we did was a lil surprise hike he planned one night. It didnt turn out like he wanted...The cave he was trying to take me to was now blocked off..but i thought it was amazing anyway, the view was beautiful, we got some cute pictures and as always, we shared some good laughs throughout the night.

2009-01-19T22:48:00.000-08:00

Okay so I guess now that life is a little brighter, I'll start this..I wish I could've had this before there's so many memories and so much I wish I could share with everyone, but I know that they're things I'll never forget and I guess that's what's important.

My life has changed so much, in every way possible some for the good, and other things not so good but I've realized that you learn from every experience and every trial can only make you stronger. But I also realized that being stronger doesn't mean you'll never cry yourself to sleep or have a bad day, it just means you learn to go on and face what comes your way. Just when I begin to think the tears have stopped, I lose it out of nowhere, when will that stop?! probably NEVER but I know that God only gives us the struggles we can handle.

2009-01-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

>

you're my guardian angel now; rip lo lo♥
ill see you again someday<33

Lorin Merkley, I'd give anything to have just one more day, one more chance to hold your hand, see you smile, or hear you laugh or get one more of those kisses on my cheek. I don't know exactly why such an amazing person came into my life, or why we met at the time we did. I may never know, but I do know that I've learned more from Lor than I've learned from anyone else and that he is without doubt the strongest and most determined person I know. I'll never forget the moments I've spent with him or the kind of person he was. It's been quite the roller coaster ride, lots of hope but many disappointments. Everything happened so fast, no warnings and no guarantees, just prayer and hoping for the best but There comes a point in your life when miracles only go so far, and you just can't fight what's meant to be any longer. Reality hits hard, It's then that you look to the past and are greatful for every day and every moment in your life, and what it meant to you. Life isn't easy, everyone endures a different battle, so be nice to everyone you meet you never know what they're going through.! I love you LO, thank you for everything. You're amazing & I can honestly say that you are the only person who I know would never break my heart. Thanks for letting me be a part of your life and for the experience its been, it wasn't easy but I'll never regret it. tell everyone how you feel, and hold them close, let those you LOVE know that you LOVE them, because you never know when that chance will be taken away.