Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life is full of challenges when it comes to being a mom..100% worth it, but not always easy!
You deal with the everyday messes and the confusion and frustration that comes along not always knowing the answer to absolutely everything. It's a hard thing..and a humbling one when you come to a point where you just don't know.

I have finally been able to admit that it has not been easy with a new baby in the house. But it's not for the.reasons most would think. I'm fine waking up several times in the middle of the night even though it does leave me exhausted the next morning! Certain moments make it worth it and because I have already seen how fast a year caN fly I know someday I'll miss these late nights. I'm fine having to give up even more free time...because I really don't enjoy time to myself anyway..my kids definitely provide the highlights of my everyday. I guess the hard part is not knowing what is wrong when you know something is wrong, if that makes sense.

Little Beckham has a hard time finding happiness, and I honestly don't know why. He cries most of the time he is awake and it is hard..i am not good at the "Just let them cry" thing and for awhile I started thinking that was exactly the problem..I figured he was spoiled! I admit both boys get sooo much attention but I really don't think that's a bad thing at all. I love my boys both so much and I hate to ever leave them, even if it's just for a short while. But anyway...that's not the issue, I just hope we get something figured out soon. It has been a sad few weeks of continuous crying, I am so happy when I am able to get him calmed down without having to feed him, give him a bottle, or use a pacifier! I can't wait for that to be the norm!

We had a sick house this past weekend with me and Brandon both sick and then Tate catching a bit of it the day after! I am thankful to say it didn't last long...Though I do love that I had my lil cuddle bug back for a few days!! I definitely realized that mom's don't get sick days no matter how they fedl and it makes me appreciate my mom just that much more. I don't think you realize what all being a mom means...the demands and why they do all the things they do or did until you have your own kids! I feel closer to my mom,now than ever and I am so grateful for all that she helps me with.! I am also thankful for the sick days she never took that she spent doing more than she had to for us! She is the best!

I also should say how thankful I am for the help I do get from Brandon. When he is able to help.with the boys it makes a huge difference and I am so grateful for the two boys we are blessed with & able to raise together.. I hope wd czn get things right and I also hope that my kids love us as much as I love my parents...I want to see them EVERYDAY for all of eternity.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Life.

Life is crazy, with two boys, I am constantly on my toes.
I love life this way. I have had a lot of fun taking Tate to the park, going on walks and just enjoying time with the boys since we are home so much.

Tate is sick right now, It is so sad seeing him be the worn out..miserable little boy. I am used to him running circles around me and always being on the go so this is weird for me! Now that I have a baby in my arms a huge majority of the time I am having to learn to "share" too...or just split time, whatever you want to call it. I love the moments that Tate gives his brother kisses or just wants to cuddle him even if it's just for a second.I also love that I get a lil more lovin'...even if it is JUST BECAUSE he is sick.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about school and I am really looking forward to getting back to it, I haven't taken a class since the summer and I {almost} miss it! I know once I go back I might change my mind but I have always enjoyed it! I just need to find some fun classes to take since I am done with most of my prerequisites! I think I will start of taking online classes and possibly get back to the campus this summer. I'm not in a rush to leave my boys--That is the HARDEST thing ever for me!(I seriously started crying before we got to the stop sign on my parents street when we left for the hospital! I couldn't even tell Tate bye because I was holding back tears the entire time...I hope it's not like that when school starts up, but I can almost guarantee it will be! Guess I'll have puffy eyes for my classes!)